Staying Debt Free

Somebody - Jorge? - mentioned a book I hadn't heard of, "All Your Worth" by Warren and Tyagi. I found it at my library, and boy is it an eye-opener. I've been through it 3 times so far--Skimmed it while half-asleep, before bed one night. Read through it thoroughly, taking notes, another day. Now I'm using the index to try and find answers to questions I've had while starting to do their calculations. I can definitely second the recommendation that it's a good read.

To sum up, they recommend no more than 50% of your income on must-haves, 20% towards a combination of savings and debt repayment, and 30% on wants. I found a nice little Excel spreadsheet to download that calculates your percentage of Must Haves. It's about 3/4 of the page down, here: http://www.mdmproofing.com/iym/BMF.shtml

Obviously, food is a Must Have. But they say to allocate only a small, basic amount for food in the must-have category, because a lot of what we normally buy is really non-essential, or bought in a form that's more expensive than it needs to be. But they didn't really give much of a guideline, like a percentage of income. So I pulled my food figure from the USDA guidelines for the lowest budget for a 2-person household. You can find guidelines for various budget levels and household sizes here: http://www.usda.gov/cnpp/FoodPlans/Updates/foodnov04.pdf

They include predictable household, medical and transportation costs in Must Haves, but it looks like they mean for emergencies like car repairs and such to be handled out of the 20% savings. So my must-have figure below doesn't count any of the $461 a month we've been hit with recently for various repairs.

Our current Must Haves are at 65.2% of our income. That falls into their Must-Have Crash Zone--the absolute worst category. Their description of our situation is accurate: "Even the smallest hiccup can seem like a major disaster because there is no extra money to handle anything that goes wrong. You shot through the Danger Zone many warning lights ago, and now you are deep in the highest risk area--the Crash Zone."

Now I did figure in a few things that some people wouldn't call Must Haves. DH and I cannot physically mow our own lawn anymore, so I included the expenses for our lawn guy. I also included our Virgin Mobile cell phones, because we both drive old cars, and I drive home from work several nights a week. I'm just not going to put myself in a position where I have to walk to a call-box along a highway at night, where people are driving 65 mph. It's the cheapest cell option I could find, and I consider it a necessity. OTOH, I also included every bit of income we've been getting, such as rebates, cash gifts. Amazon sales, and so forth. So I think overall the 65.2% gives a pretty accurate, if dismal, picture of where we are.

Thanks for the good wishes for our cat. He's doing much better. He's still eating nothing but "people" salmon and some Nutrical goo if I put it on his paw, but I can tell when I pick him up that he's put some weight back on already. We have to get more blood work on Monday, to see if his liver is getting back to normal now that he's eating well. But the way he is acting and looking, I'm not expecting bad news. He wanted to jump out of my arms today and chase a bird--big improvement!

The only down side is that I've got so many opened packages of foods he won't eat. So the dog is getting some sardines and Sheba today, and I had a tuna sandwich for lunch. The older stuff will just have to be tossed.

With this latest vet bill, I decided to add up how much we've spent on emergencies since I starting using Quicken again back in May. It's over $3000. I figured on $2500 for an entire year's worth, based on the past couple of years' totals. That would have been $1354 in 6-1/2 months, instead of $3000. Or to look at it monthly, our emergencies have been costing $461 a month instead of $208.

I thought we were going to get away with the 10% increase on natural gas that went through month or so ago. But now the gas company is asking for an additional 30% increase, which will come to about $47 more a month year round on our budget billing. That's another $564 a year.

I just ran a cash flow report, which shows we are only in the black by $160-some dollars over the past 6 months--meaning every penny received as gifts, on rebates, from cc rewards, from surveys, and from selling books online has been absolutely necessary. It can't be thought of as "extra" income right now.

Well, it could be worse. At least we aren't in the red. And I'm not even counting what goes into DH's 401K plan, or the fact that our mortgage is getting paid down a bit each month, so really we are ahead by more than $160. But it's not good, and it's getting kind of scary.

I've got to find some more ways to cut our spending, and/or bring in more cash. Simple as that. Only, how.

One thing I managed the other day was cut my membership costs at Passport To Fun, the discount gift certificate program. Over on fatwallet, they were talking about being offered one year for $9.95 or $14.95 when they tried to cancel one of the programs. It sounded like you'd get an automated thing, and it was luck of the draw. However, I got a live person and was really unsure of what to say. Luckily, the rep offered me the option without my having to ask. One more payment of $9.95 and I'll be a member for one full year.

Our poor baby boy, Pumpkin, isn't feeling well. He's 10 years old but up until recently he's seemed very healthy. I took him to the vet yesterday because he wasn't eating, and just laying around--which isn't like him. Turns out he'd lost weight, had a fever, and his heart rhythm was a little odd. They are doing lab work, and in the meantime he's on an antibiotic for the fever. I think it's helping a little, as he's eaten quite a bit of salmon and is moving around more.

Money-wise, it's $185 so far (including flea stuff I also brought home for the dog). I put it on the Sony card as there is only $106 of available funds in our emergency account. Somehow it feels like progress, though. It's a lot closer than having $30 on hand for a $450 expense.

If it were another car or house repair, I'd be feeling angry and stressed about it--even if it were a medical thing for DH or myself! But somehow I don't feel resentful at all about spending money on the cat. He's always been very sweet, and very cooperative about medical things. I feel like if he can put up with it all, I'll do what I can for him. A totally different situation from when our last cat died. She was very high-strung, and fought everything from nail clipping, to pill taking, to rides in the car to the vet, and the exams themselves. I felt terrible about it, but when she got sick at age 9 we just decided to let her go. Getting her upset all the time with daily injections and frequent vet trips wouldn't have been a good quality of life for her, just to extend her life a few months.

If you're so inclined, could you please send positive thoughts or say a prayer for our little Pumpkin?

There's an interesting article in the current issue of Psychology Today that I meant to post about. "The Winning Edge," p. 42+ Nov/Dec 2005.

It's about "grit." The ability to keep on keeping on. Persistence, tenacity, staying committed, sticking with things despite obstacles. What researchers are finding is, it's probably even more important than intelligence or creativity or the circumstances you were born into.

It got me thinking that I need to develop some grittier attitudes about money:

--Getting to financial security is going to take time. A long time. Accept it.
--There are going to be setbacks and obstacles. Get used to it, and just keep going.
--It's not how much money you have, it's what you do with it.
--Everybody makes mistakes. Just try to learn from them.
--Stay optimistic, and believe I'm going to succeed in the end.
--Do a little less flitting around with new projects, and a little more working on what I've already started.
--Practice deferred gratification. Remember to look at the big picture, the long-range consequences.

Friday night I usually stay home and watch a video while I have laundry running. Not exciting, but it makes the laundry easier to take. However, it was the end of a sale at Penney's, and I had a 10% off coupon and over $60 in discounted gift cards on hand. So I went shopping. I found a pair of slacks for work, and a set of of bath towels on clearance, for a total of about $40. Also did some grocery shopping at Pathmark, and finally earned my free turkey/ham/whatever by spending $300 over the pre-T'giving season.

Saturday the weather was beautiful and DH and I both wanted to get out on some kind of little road trip. (Gas is down to $2.13, so I'm not so reluctant to drive at the moment.) There was a library booksale going on, and the route up is very scenic this time of year if you take 295. The sky was bright blue, and the leaves are about the peak of their fall color now. Trees are planted along both sides of the highway, and as the road turns you see trees in the distance ahead of you, too. So it felt like we were just nestled in and completely surrounded by color.

We got to the booksale just in time for the bag sale. I got about 20 books in a bag for $2. Two were on wish lists at paperbackswap.com, so I knew they'd go right away. I also discovered that two were going for about $14 each on Amazon, so I'll be listing them there. (If even one of them sells, it will have paid for all the mailing expenses I've accrued lately mailing things out for swapping.) Most of the rest I turned in for credit at our local paperback exchange.

With all these books piling up (from the library as well as from swapping), I thought I'd better start reading instead of just finding them, listing them, and mailing them. Read 1-3/4 novels, a Scumble River murder mystery and most of Sullivan's Island, the first in the Low Country Tales series. Sunday evening, after having read most of the afternoon, I realized how much more relaxed I felt making dinner and cleaning up after. I'd forgotten how relaxing reading can be. I've been spending much more of my leisure time online and watching movies, and less with books. I really need to make it part of my daily life again. With access to 2 public libraries and the paperback swapping, cost is certainly no excuse.

Good things in the mail this week--

* Got a letter saying my long distance was switched to Pioneer.
* The checks for my new personal checking account arrived.
* Got a package from Sanford, the people who make Sharpie markers, with several nice things in it. I'd mailed in two white-out pens I could never get to work, which turned out to be discontinued. For good reason, I think! They sent two new ones, a red Sharpie and a click-type ballpoint pen, plus stamps for what it cost me to mail in the bad ones.
* Free magazines, which continue to amaze me. Right now we are getting US News, Family Circle, Psychology Today, Antiques, and Budget Living.
*More gift cards I ordered from Passport To Fun. Got quite a few for Amazon, because I'm planning ahead for Virgin Mobile. I finally figured out that I could add minutes at a discount if I bought top-up cards with a discounted gift card instead of doing it with a credit card. I did get one with a gc at Target, but noticed they charged sales tax. Someone over on Fatwallet mentioned getting them on Amazon, where hopefully I won't be charged tax. So now the money is already sitting in my Amazon account, when it's time to get them.

I also got what looks to be my first chance for a test drive offer. I don't even remember how long ago I signed up for it, but I finally got the chance to do a Mazda one for a $25 SuperCertificate. Hope I have the guts to go and do it! I have til December 18 to build up my courage.

On the down side, I discovered yesterday that I'd paid $75 to Citibank twice. Good for our debt levels, not so good for our checking account balance.

Philoscript, I know how you feel.

It's been about 2 weeks I've really fallen behind on the paperwork/recordkeeping front. I thought it was just last week, with the car repair, long distance switching, extra/different hours at work, and so forth. (The latest repair turned out to be a wiper motor for another $450, by the way.) But now that I went back and tried to reconstruct things, I can see it was about 2 weeks ago I stopped entering my spending in Quicken. After going through all the receipts I could find, I still can't account for $46.55 in cash spending. How can you spend that much in 2 weeks and not know where it went?

I also hadn't reconciled the checking account, although I'd gotten a statement 2 weeks ago. Usually I do it as soon as the statement period ends. Sometimes I can't wait to get the statement in the mail, and print it out from the website. So this really isn't like me. My current balance in Quicken wasn't accurate, and I'm very lucky there was a good cushion in there or I might have bounced a check.

I remembered various bills coming in recently, but had to dig around in my paper piles to find them. Luckily, nothing was due yet. I got them all scheduled online this morning.

I'm trying to do a thing all this week where I take care of 10 pieces of paper a day. It could just be tossing a piece of junk mail, or paying bill, or filing something. Just basically moving it on to it's next place. 10 pieces is the minimum; usually when I get started I get a lot more done than that. At least now I can see the top of my desk. And it's only Wednesday.

Keeping my fingers crossed that I don't find anything so old and neglected that it's going to cost us money. So far, so good.

I started out this morning thinking it would be nice to have a special bright-colored checkbook cover for the separate checking account, so it would be obvious which account it was for, and easy to find in my purse. I figured the debit card for the account could be tucked inside too.

I surfed around on Ebay for awhile, and as often happens, ideas start occuring to me. Kind of like when you're very relaxed in the shower, or driving smoothly along a highway. Ideas like, I also need to have part of my allowance in cash, which means two different types of items, bills and coins. Then there are gift cards that are specifically for me, like for Dress Barn. I started wondering whether I wanted a whole separate wallet for "me" things, but two wallets in my purse would be awfully thick and bulky.

I finally settled on getting an oblong cosmetics type bag, not too thick, long enough for the checkbook, with a zipper on top. It finally occured to me that I already had an old one I could try out. It's a little worn and I'm no longer wild about the color, but it will do the job til I can find something cute for a reasonable price. I used it today, and found it's also a good place for corralling receipts. I think this just might work!

I've also decided on $100 a month, $25 in cash and $75 to the new account. I don't know whether that sounds like a lot, or not much. I can say it's 6.5% of my take-home pay, and much less than what DH gets to play with per month.

So far, what I've spent on me:

$1.25 for paperbacks off the booksale rack at work, that I can trade for ones I want through frugalreader.com and paperbackswap.com
$.20 for some photocopies
$4.13 mailing books out for swaps, also a CD that sold on Amazon
$9.90 checks for the new account

I've got to get things switched at Amazon so sale proceeds will go into the new account. It didn't work when I tried, they couldn't confirm the account number or something. So I have to fax some info to a toll-free number. Have to remember to do it before my next payment is due to come through.

For the first time in months, I drove by a Joann's store today and felt like I'd be able to go in and actually buy something there soon. It was a nice feeling.

Even beyond the latest car problem, last week was a rough one. By the time the weekend rolled around, I knew I had to keep things simple and just try to catch up with myself. I did one big shopping trip at Pathmark, didn't use one coupon, and spent $76. Usually I match coupons to sales and go to 2 or 3 stores. But I just didn't want to spend the time or energy.

DH and I both have gas in our cars, and some cash. There's enough food in the house. The laundry is caught up. Tonight I'm dealing with those stacks of paper that build up so fast, and doing a little actual cleaning. We got some extra sleep, and got out on walks. We have movies to watch and books to read.

I don't even know how much money I spent over the past week--I probably overspent, what with the Pathmark shopping and $15 for Chinese food. But I think I'll be able to start the work week feeling caught up, and calmer. And that's the most important thing to me right at this moment.

mjrube94, I've sent you a private message to you about the Pioneer telephone referral.

On the way home this afternoon, my windshield wipers stopped working during a steady rain, in rush hour traffic. Naturally they stopped sticking straight up in front of me, making visibility even worse. Took it straight in to the mechanic's, and DH brought me home. The car can just stay there overnight; it will be easier than us trying to take it over tomorrow morning.

The last two car repair bills are not paid off yet, and I have exactly $30 available in the emergency account. Sony cc to the rescue again, I suppose. At least I can look forward to the free movie tickets we'll be able to get as a reward from Sony, soon.

I was hoping I wouldn't have to go through this process again for a very long time. We had AT&T, then Qwest, and most recently something called Primus (originally called Isterra). I myself use a 2.9 cents a minute phone card for both local toll calls and long distance calls. But even with the numbers programmed into our speed dial, DH has never gotten used to using it. So we need to have a back-up long distance/regional toll service set up for when he uses the phone.

Primus has been fine, but now somebody over on Fatwallet noticed they started slapping on a $5 a month fee for low usage. I immediately checked my bill--and unfortunately it's true. That comes to an extra $60 a year, which I'm just not willing to spend. At that rate, we might as well use the Virgin Mobile phones at 25 cents a minute for our long distance!

So, back to the drawing board. I checked at http://www.lowermybills.com and it looks like Unitel, Pioneer and Big Red Wire are my best bets. Would be curious to hear if anybody has had good or bad experience with any of them.

It's not a big deal, but I dread yet another series of tasks to do and follow up on. Call Verizon and ask them to take the PIC freeze off (on so we wouldn't get slammed). Decide on and arrange the new service. Watch for it to start up. Call Primus to make sure they stop billing us. Call Verizon to have the PIC freeze put back on. It could go on for weeks.

Sometimes I really miss the old days of Ma Bell handling everything, and no choices to make except Princess phone or standard...

I last added up our cc debt on September 15. That day it was $4527. As of today, it's $4210, for a net reduction of $317 in about 5 weeks. I don't think that's too bad, especially since I had to charge that additional $500 car repair bill. On the negative side, I can't remember the last time I had to actually pay interest--but this month I ended up paying $6 to Citi because I didn't have quite enough to pay it off completely by the due date. Here are the details, to keep me honest--

Firestone - $427 (0% runs out in December, want to pay off asap)
Citi - $20 (paid off balance with an extra payment, this is new gas purchase)
Discover - $2874 (0% til next spring)
Sony - $889 (0% for another 11 months)

What I'm trying to do is kind of let the Sony balance build up and start paying down extra on Discover. Assuming I won't be able to pay off the Discover by the end of their 0% period, I'll want to do a balance transfer to the Sony card--but they charge a 3% BT fee. So the lower the balance is at that point, the lower the fee.

OTOH, I don't want to miss out on the cash back from Citi. So I'm using it where they offer the 5% back (grocery stores, gas and drugstores) and using the Sony everywhere else.

I'll try to report back on this in another 4 weeks. It helps to add the figures up once in a while, and see the big picture.

I'll be so glad when it's paid off and I don't have to do all this juggling.

Just one girl, me. I had a floating holiday to take, so I had the day off work. Even though it's been raining all day, it was still nice.

First I went and did the PNC offer, which by the way I found over on Fatwallet.com (I should have given credit). It's actually even better than I originally noticed. When you sign up for the rewards program on the debit card, they automatically give you 10,000 points, which qualifies you for a $25 gift card of your choice right off the bat. So it's really a $60 deal instead of a $35 one. Hope all goes through ok--the customer service person wasn't sure how the special web deal worked, and had to call in to find out. But I do already have the $10 Best Buy gift card in my hot little hands, so that's something.

Next I drove over to the town we used to live in 10 years ago, before we bought our house. It was already upscale compared to where we were able to buy, and it's only gone onward and upward since we moved! The crummy old Superfresh is now a fancy Genuardi's supermarket, which was my first stop. I've been seeing some good sale prices there on http://www.cairo.com, and figured I'd get one of their savings cards. I scoped the place out and was able to get a few sale items already. Very nice, especially the 1/4 of the store that was actually a sit-down restaurant.

Also discovered there was a Baja Fresh in the same shopping center, which I'd like to try someday. (With a discounted gift card of course.)

I'm trying to use up last year's Entertainment Book coupons before they run out on November 1. So I used a bakery coupon and got some nice stuff for 50% off. If any of you follow true crime, maybe you remember the case where the NJ rabbi hired someone to kill his wife, and the wife was well-known as a bakery owner? Well, this was one of her bakery locations, and I'd never been there.

Had a coupon for Hallmark also, so I went to look at Christmas cards. It was pleasant to look at everything, but I just couldn't get psyched to spend $3.99 per card, even with a coupon.

Now I'm off to polish my nails, for DH more than myself. Gotta keep him happy; I just usually don't have the time or patience to sit around waiting for them to dry. No dinner to worry about as we're getting pizza. We have beer, movies and books on hand, so I anticipate a nice relaxing evening.

My Stress is definintely Less today.

With all the new-account offers out there, I want to be careful and not let things get out of hand. Keeping on top of paperwork is not my strong point. But now I'm thinking of opening a checking account in just my name, because a local bank is offering $35 in gift cards to open one.

Link for PNC bank offer -- http://pncbank.com/offers/0,3810,7723,00.html

Here's the thing. DH gets a set amount of cash every two weeks that is his to spend. Neither of us needs to account for where it goes, because "DH Cash" is already a budget entry of its own. It's simple and it works because 99% of his purchases are with cash. Also, it helps that he's not buying anything for the household out of it. It's all his money and that's that.

Now with me, I'm buying things in stores and online. I'm buying things with cash, credit cards and a debit card. I'm spending money on household things, and for myself, and sometimes picking things up for DMom. It gets really confusing. For years, I haven't been sure how much I could claim for just me, or how to manage it. I get cash out that's supposed to be for me, and it ends up getting spent on groceries, dry cleaning and the post office. Whenever I spend money for something I want, whether with credit cards or cash, I end up wondering if I should have.

Inspired by Jorge, I did just rename an ING savings account for Concerts and Events, but that's really for things DH and I would do as a couple. Concerts, air shows, class reunions, etc. That still doesn't cover things for just me.

I figure a separate checking account would be better than a savings account or a cash envelope, because I'll be able to spend money directly from it with a check or debit card. (And this debit card even has a rewards feature.) When the balance gets toward zero, I'll know my personal spending for the month is done. Much easier than running budget reports in Quicken all the time. I just have to figure out how much can go into my little account, and remember to have my stuff rung up separately from household stuff.

I wonder how other people manage their personal allowances, vs. the houshold money they are handling.

Yesterday went well, especially considering it was a Monday. It's my longest day out of the house, and the morning is usually spent trying to catch up on the weekend mess. Usually I run out of the house late, having left things undone and feeling behind. This week I actually got to work early, and had lots of stuff ready to take to the post office on my dinner hour. I got a lot done at work, too. So I treated myself to a caramel-flavored coffee for $1.05 on the way back from dinner--positive reinforcement.

What I got into the mail were: 2 rebate offers, 1 prescription reimbursement form, 1 package of awful correction pens (they're supposed to send me a new, better product), and a book that sold on Amazon. All little bits and pieces that will help us keep in the black.

I wonder if anyone else has had this experience--on the prescription reimbursement form, they asked for the prescribing doctor's DEA number. All the other info they wanted was on my receipt, except this. I called my doctor's office and they wouldn't give it to me--they put me on hold a long time, and passed me from person to person. What it came down to was, they said don't give that information out to patients because it could be used fraudulently. They kind of made me feel like a drug-addicted criminal, just for asking! And I'm sure the number is on the prescription forms they hand out every day, anyway. All this hassle just to get $7 back from Blue Cross for blood pressure medicine. What I ended up doing was putting on the form, doctor's office will not provide, please call them at xxx-xxx-xxxx. We'll see what happens.

There were booksales at two libraries this past weekend, but DH and I each had our own reasons for skipping them. DH ran short of cash last week, when he overdid it at the last booksale we went to. I felt very behind after spending so much time on the car repairs last week, and just wanted to stay home and catch up. I'm sure we won't have long to wait for another sale to go to, though. Like they stay about streetcars and men, another one is always just around the corner.

I was supposed to be cutting back on groceries and such this month and next, to catch up on overspending in September. But now it's turkey time at all the supermarkets, where if you spend a certain amount you get the free turkey or ham or a % off your next shopping trip. And, there are a lot of sales going on at Pathmark for things we'll need over the next few months anyway. So I'm continuing to spend, and stocking up. Beyond getting a deal, it just feels good to see a full pantry and know that in the next snowstorm all I'll need to do is walk up to Eckerd's on the corner for milk. One thing I'm trying to do is make one rebate purchase a week at Pathmark. The purchase goes toward the free whatever, but it's not actually money spent because of the rebate.

Am almost caught up on watching all the Monarch of the Glen episodes that are on DVD. They play it on public tv around here, but I'd missed some episodes so I've been borrowing it from the library. There is something very satisfying about watching upper-crusty people, living in a castle, having to learn to cut down and pinch pennies...

For the past few weeks, something in my car hadn't been right. Some kind of loose feeling in the front end, and a vibration coming up through the steering wheel. At first it only happened at higher speeds, then it kept getting worse. It got to the point I was avoiding the freeway I usually use, and driving on slower local roads instead, because I was afraid of what might happen. I was trying to avoid a car repair until I had more emergency money saved up. But I got to work late a couple of times because of taking the longer route, and the problem just kept getting worse, so I figured I'd better not wait anymore.

Yesterday I spent the best part of 5 hours getting to and from the car repair place, and waiting for it. The repair cost $508 and there was only $80 available in the emergency account I opened awhile ago. So onto the 0% Sony cc it went. Part of the job was an alignment, and when I drove it out it was pulling to the side--the alignment was worse coming out than it went in! In addition, I discovered that the fan for the heater and a/c now only works on high. It worked yesterday. I was extremely suspicious that they either bumped something by accident, causing the fan problem, or caused the problem deliberately, to create more work for themselves. Especially because I also didn't have this front end problem until just after they did the timing belt a few weeks ago.

(I did some research online, though, and discovered that the blower resistor, which controls the fan speed, is a weak point on my car. One poor guy on a message board is replacing his 3 or 4 times a year!)

I was already on edge because of PMS (thank goodness that's over!). Burger King kept about 6 people waiting in the drive-up line before taking anyone's order, and then they messed up my order. The receptionist at AAA told me to go the wrong desk to pick up the Entertainment Book, which used up more time. My day was so messed up I didn't eat lunch til 2 p.m. or dinner til 8 p.m. (Cold BK, warmed over.)

By the time I had the chance to call the car repair place back and complain, I was not a happy camper. I'm afraid my Inner *itch took over; now I feel kind of badly. I think when I take the car back in on Friday, I'd better take them an Entenmann's coffee cake or something.

If not for the PMS--If not for the day being so rushed--If I'd had time to come home, do an aerobics tape and take another shower before work--If I'd had a chance to eat right--If I'd had time to be online a little while and chill out. And most importantly--IF I'D HAD THE $508 READY AND WAITING IN THE SAVINGS ACCOUNT--I don't think I would have snapped. You can't control everything, but if just one or two things had been different about the day, it would have made a world of difference. And one thing I can control is having money socked away.

After this, I think I'm ready to start throwing all extra money into the Emergency Account, until it's built up to a comfortable level. Rebate checks, coins, etc. There are things I've been starting to hanker for, like those nicer razor blades, a gym membership, and so forth. But if using money on that stuff means continuing to deal with emergencies in such a stressful way, it's just not worth it.

I ran in just to get some fruit my husband likes, and as usual the lines were long.

Things seemed to be moving unusually slow, though, and I finally realized the woman at the front of my line was short of money. A lot of Aldi customers seem to be stretching their pennies, and I've seen this happen several times before. This woman was putting things back like cans of 39 cent beans, one at a time, trying to get it down to where she could pay the bill. The cashier was being very patient, and luckily nobody in line was grumbling or rolling their eyes. But it was still kind of a stressful, embarrassing situation for everyone.

Finally, the woman in front of me told the cashier, "tell her not to worry about it. I'll pay it." And she did! I wondered at first if they were friends or family members shopping together, but no--they were total strangers. The "Good Samaritan" said she'd had weeks like that, and she hated to think of the woman's kids going without food because she was a little short. The cashier said things were tight for her too, as a single mother. They both agreed at least they were better off than the customer who couldn't pay.

I'll tell you, when I came out to the car and tried to tell my mother what happened, I broke down and cried. When I finally got it out, she started to cry too. I didn't know whether to be sad that so many people were having a hard time, or happy that there are such nice people out there.

It just points up what I've heard before--people with less money are more generous (percentage wise) than wealthier people. I'm sure it's because they have a more intimate knowledge of how much the help is needed. In The Millionaire Next Door, I remember the saying "my favorite charity is myself," which is a good indication of the mindset I mean. Not that I don't want more money socked away. But I'd rather be someone who helps people out in the checkout line than a millionaire who's a jerk.

I've gotten a lot of nice free stuff that hasn't caused any later harm in our budget. Mostly, it turns out a trial product is good, but not much better than what I've been using. I don't have a strong urge to actually spend money to get more of it. For example, free bath stuff from Calgon. It's nice, but when it's time to actually buy something, usually I go back to Pathmark's store brand of bubble bath and I'm perfectly happy.

But the whole purpose of a lot of freebies is to hook you on a product and get you to buy it in the future. What if you see there *is* a big difference over what you've been using and you get spoiled? For me right now, it's Schick Quattro for Women razor blades. For probably 20 years I've survived using plain old disposable Bic shavers, and not even the sensitive skin or ladies' kind. They come out to roughly 12 cents or so a piece, on sale. The best price I can find for the Quattros even on Ebay is around $1 a piece, often over a dollar, $1.25 or $1.50. Which means each cartridge is 100 TIMES the cost of my old shavers. The best price I could find in a store was at Walgreen's, on sale, with a coupon and a rebate, and it still came out to over $1.50 a piece.

I hate to admit how much time I've spent on Ebay trying to win some at the low end of the prices I've seen in the completed listings. I'm in a quandary about whether to continue looking there, just buy them outright at the best price I can find, or give them up. Are they that much better that I should keep on using them? Are they 100x better? If I do decide to keep using them, should I spend $60 to buy them in quantity on Ebay, or just try to fit a full-price package in my monthly budget? I'm getting darned tired of thinking about it.

When I think of spending $60 it just sounds ridiculous--I'm used to spending $12 for a year's worth of Bics, for both my husband and me. Now I'm thinking of spending $30+ a year on just me, when we are thousands of dollars in debt.

If I just could find them wholesale, it might be profitable to sell them on Ebay myself--at least profitable enough to pay for my own supply!

Can't say yet what I'll do because right now I seem to be in the midst of a PMS attack. It always makes me impatient, which I'm realizing has consequences as far as spending. (Will discuss more in another post.)

No, I'm not going to try and cut it out. Take-out dinners once or twice a week help save my sanity. And frankly, DH would like to live on burgers, cheesesteaks, hoagies and pizza if I'd let him, anyway. It's a part of our life and I just have to keep the costs under control.

It's been pretty easy the past few months because of a pizzeria we discovered recently. I was counting on their $6 pizzas every Tuesday, plus cheesesteak/fries combos they had good coupons out for. The problem is, they seem to have gone out of business already! I guess they couldn't make money selling the food so cheaply. It's a shame, because the food was good.

So now I have to get creative, and be more attentive to other deals that are out there.

I'll definitely be buying more Wendy's and maybe Burger King gift certificates through Passport To Fun.

I went through the Entertainment Book that expires Nov 1, to see what restaurants let you use the coupons for take-out. There are a lot that sound like regular restaurants, but don't say "dine in only," so they look like a possibility. (It's like pulling teeth to get DH out to a restaurant, so we might as well use them for take-out.) I found a post here about a free trial for the Entertainment Book which lets you print out 3 online coupons without buying the new book. And I called AAA to find out what their price was for the new books. ($5 off and no shipping because you pick it up at the AAA office.)

The only other thing I can think of right now is remembering to order Chinese food at work before 3 p.m., so we get it at the lunchtime price. The only difference is, you get a can of soda instead of an egg roll. Usually I don't think to do it til the end of the day; I'll just have to plan better.

I'm borrowing this from Five Cent Nickel on PFBlog.com, where I just read about it. I tried it today, and it actually worked, as advertised!

Say you're out at a bookstore and wonder if you can get a book cheaper on Amazon. Or you're at a library booksale or yard sale and wonder if a book is worth trying to resell. What you do is call this number on your cell phone: 617-712-3574 and when prompted, enter the ISBN number from the book. It tells you the list price, Amazon's price for new, and the lowest used price listed by Marketplace sellers. Today at the booksale, it saved me from spending money on quite a few books that are only selling for pennies on Amazon. I was able to keep my spending to only $3, which included two books I wanted for myself, plus several I can sell for a total of about $18. And I don't have to go lugging a bunch of unsellable books to Goodwill, after lugging them all home in the first place.

If you want to buy a book you looked up through their number, they ask that you go to their website and order it through their interface so they get a small affiliate fee back from Amazon. In any case, it doesn't cost YOU anything but the cell phone call. I'm very happy with it--especially since I just saw an ad for a similar business that wants $4.99 a month for the service.

DH and I have been shopping at library booksales for years. I thought I'd mention it and pass along a few tips for anyone who hasn't tried it yet.

You just can't beat prices like 25 cents for a paperback or $1 for a hardcover--unless it's buying a whole bag for $1 which sometimes happens during the last hour or so of a sale. Sometimes during the bag sale we just grab a bag of miscellaneous paperbacks in good condition, just so we can turn the books in for credit at our local paperback exchange. If very lucky, there will be one or two items that will sell for a good price on Amazon, sometimes paying for everything else we bought.

At first, I was kind of shy about going to libraries we didn't belong to--but believe me, they don't much care if you are a member or not, when it comes to buying books at their sales. They just want to raise as much money as possible. The only exception is, sometimes they have a special preview sale for Friends of the Library members. But you can usually just join the Friends group on the way in, if you don't mind spending a few extra dollars.

It's a good idea to take along something cold to drink, and leave it in your car for after the sale. We've found that book shopping is thirsty work, for some reason.

If you plan on buying a lot, it can be worth taking your own bags. Sometimes they don't have enough bags on hand, and it's also easier to carry one or two large bags instead of 5 or 6 overloaded plastic grocery bags. Large department store bags with the boxy bottoms are good, also the plastic bags they sell at Aldi's for 10 cents a piece. For awhile I think I was known at certain booksales as "the Aldi bag lady."

Usually they also sell vinyl records, CDs, cassettes and videos, too. Although I haven't seen an 8-track for quite a while. A good source for cheap kids' entertainment, exercise videos and such.

You can call around to local libraries to try and get the dates for upcoming sales, or check the websites for libraries in your area. But it can save some time to use this website: http://www.book-sales-in-america.com/ Just click on your state to get upcoming sale dates. The only problem is, they depend on the libraries or Friends groups to submit information, and they don't always get around to it. Still, it's a help. And the ads for bookstores and book scouting businesses are interesting.

Even though I've stopped counting on reselling books on Amazon, it's still a fun outing and a very cheap way for us to find books for ourselves. DH and I have a couple of days off together this week, and our first little trip will be to the county booksale as soon as it starts tomorrow morning.

I checked back to when I last felt overwhelmed with loose ends and unfinished stuff--it's been a little over a month. It got me thinking to how I should just schedule a catch-up day once a month, and keep a running list of things I'll handle then. It's just a matter of what method to use to schedule it and keep the running list. It's hard to find a system I can stick with and won't forget to keep up with.

The most organized I've been was when I was using some software called Time and Chaos. I've had two different versions of it on two computers--as far back as when they sent you diskettes in the mail! After my last computer died, I got very leery of depending on a computer to run my life. Even with files backed up, it was a hassle to get things going again. So I never got a new version of T&C for this computer.

Yesterday, though, I got to feeling so desperate I checked their website to see how much it costs now. Their newest version is $45, and from past experience it would be worth every penny--even though I don't want to spend it right now. But the great news is, the previous version is now available completely free!!! And although it's an older version, it still works for Windows XP.

I can highly recommend it, if you need something for appointments, a to-do list, telephone book, etc. It's great for setting up repeating tasks like "clean out the fridge" once a month, in addition to dr. appointments and such. Here's a link. Scroll down the page to the Legacy section to get to the free version 5 download.

http://www.chaossoftware.com/products.asp

I feel like I've made up for lots of mistakes through a great sale at Stop and Shop.

I could see from the circular that their Crazy Eights sale was a good deal. You bought 8 items from a particular group of products, and got an $8 coupon to use later. Since many of the items were only $1, you basically got them for free. What they didn't say in the circular, that I only found out from a message board, was that you could do this over and over again. You could even take the first $8 coupon and use it to buy the 2nd group of 8 products, and so forth, so you hardly had to put out any actual money. I didn't know about this til late in the week, but I still managed to go 4 times!

I used 2 of the coupons and still have 2 to use this week--on things like B1G1F chicken, and Ragu on sale for which I also have coupons. Because of all the stocking up I've been able to do for practically nothing, it's not going to be hard at all to keep to my reduced food budget this month. Whew! Thank goodness for: Stop & Shop's sale, the info I can get on the internet, working part-time, and storage space.

Also, our property tax rebate of $350 arrived in our bank account yesterday, instead of October 15 as I expected. Saturday was a good day.

Yesterday I caught up on recording my spending, and was finally able to run my September Everyday Expenses report in Quicken. (My September ran through September 24.) It was painful to see--I was $281 over what I'd planned.

OK, maybe the gas and food expenses for our day trip to the shore shouldn't be in there. Subtract $50. Maybe the money I spent on haircolor for the P&G rebate shouldn't be counted under groceries. Subtract $10. And maybe subtract the amount of money I'll be getting back on all the rebates I did, $68. That still leaves me $158 over budget. Not good.

Looking back, I know exactly why it happened. It's the same old reason--responding to marketing ploys that appeal to my bargain-hunter side.

I won that $100 in groceries, which sounds great. But I usually spend no more than $25 a week at that store because that's all the good deals I can usually find. I was forced to use the money in no more than two trips--they don't use plastic gift cards that get swiped, they'd have to rewrite a gift certificate each time you used a little. So I ended up buying things we didn't need yet, and things that weren't that great a deal, just to get the money spent. So I spent more than I normally would have.

Same problem with Stop and Shop. I had these $5 off $50 coupons--too good to pass up, right? But what if you have to stretch to find things that add up to that $50. I know I spent more there than I really needed to.

Rebates. If I ever mention doing rebates again, please somebody reach through the computer screen and give me a virtual whack on the head. It's just not worth the effort, compared to something like staying home and opening a bank account to get a bonus. Plus it makes me spend money on things I don't need yet, or things that aren't a great price, just to complete the rebate.

Entertainment Book coupons. They run out November 1, so I've been trying to get use out of them. But it's made me spent more money on take-out that I normally would have.

I'm revising my next two months' budgets to be $140 lower, to make up for the $280. It shouldn't be too bad considering what all we already have on hand.

I've been hearing a lot about home heating prices going up this winter--the worst I heard was this past Saturday, when I listened to a local talk show about finances. The host suggested that whatever your usual winter natural gas bill was, add $400--a month!

What I heard on the news yesterday, however, was very reassuring. While across the river in Philly, the gas company is asking for a 20% increase (over another increase they just got), over here our gas company thinks it is well set for the winter. They have enough lower-priced gas on hand or under contract to get through the winter on the relatively small increase they got in August--provided it's an average winter. If it's extremely cold, it would probably spike up. But that probably wouldn't happen til late in the winter, after they've seen what the weather's been like. I feel like we've dodged a bullet.

But before I heard that news, I already spent a lot of time trying to figure out how to conserve, keep the bill down and still be relatively comfortable. There were things we tried when we first bought the house that I decided I'm just not going to try again, no matter where natural gas prices go:

Plastic on the windows that you tighten up by blowing the hairdryer on it. (You can't open the windows all winter, and the cat tries to shred it.)

Rope caulk around window cracks. (Unless you paint over it, it's unsightly. And when some came loose, the dog tried to eat it. It's nontoxic, but not easy to clean off a dog's teeth. Think gray chewing gum.)

Insulated draperies. (Made the house feel heavy, closed in and depressing.)

Treated film that goes directly on the window glass, that's supposed to keep energy in or out in winter and summer. A temporary substitute for getting new windows with low-e glass. (Again, made the house dark and takes away the pleasure of looking out into the yard.)

Also, I've seen a lot of new products that are supposed to save energy, like portable solar heating panels that go on your windows with suction cups. But based on my past experiences, I have my doubts as to whether they'd actually do much, or be so much of a hassle we don't continue using them.

I mean, what would really make a difference would be a new water heater, new front door, new windows, and more insulation in our walls if we were putting up new drywall. Spending more money on energy saving gadgets just means less money to put toward the big stuff that will really have an effect. It's always worth trying to conserve, but I don't want to waste my time and effort, either.

So here's my plan for this winter:

Get a maintenance check-up/tune-up for the heater
Make a couple of draft-dodger things for the bottoms of our doors
Make or buy some sort of inside cover for the window a/c upstairs
Keep the thermostat low (so, dress warmly and get 1 or 2 space heaters to use in rooms we're actually using)
Remember to open window blinds and shades on sunny days, and close them at night

I had the beginnings of a cold or allergies last week, and Friday it finally hit me hard. The cold symptoms weren't so bad, but the tiredness has been overwhelming. I didn't even sit at the computer for almost 3 full days. Basically, I watched TV or listened to the radio, either in bed or in a living room chair with my feet up. 3 no-spend days, no trouble at all. Also, I've lost 4 pounds. It's just a good thing I was so tired, otherwise I might have given in and ordered one of those Magic Bullet blenders (after seeing parts of the infomercial at least a dozen times).

I was glad to have a stockpile of easy frozen dinners so I could get something on the table without ordering take-out. But we had practically no cold medicine in the house, and no chicken soup. DH wasn't anxious to go out and get anything for me, and I was to tired to really bug him about it. So I think maybe it would be worthwhile to have a "sick shelf" ready at all times, not just containing medicine but other supplies you might not want to run out for when you don't feel well. A project for later in the week, when I'm caught up on other things.

I've been focusing on money now for almost 5 months straight. I wouldn't change what I've been doing--it had to be done. But on top of not building enough fun into my life, I haven't been exercising like I'm supposed to, and the house isn't looking very good. It takes a lot of time to play with the budget, make changes to things like cable service, and track rebates and bonus offers from banks, so other things just haven't gotten done.

There aren't a whole lot of big decisions or projects I can do right now; I'm kind of moving into maintenance mode for awhile. I don't have the extra cash to invest in more than the rebates I've already started, or more discounted gift cards, or new bank accounts. It seems like a good time to try and juggle life generally a little better, until some bills get paid off and I have more financial options.

So. This week I've exercised twice so far. I'm starting to go around the house, decluttering and reorganizing. I need to do some plain old cleaning, which frankly I hate. I like the results, but doing it--yuck!

On an email list I subscribe to, about working on goals, they suggest thinking of something to reward ourselves with as we accomplish various things. I know it might help me slog through the cleaning if I had a reward waiting at the end, but it's hard to think of rewards that are 1) free or cheap and 2) low in calories. Maybe looking for freebies and coupons online should be my reward--no internet on cleaning day until I'm done.

Thanks for the comments. I think "frugal fatigue" about sums it up. I decided to take a day off from being responsible, and we finally drove down to the shore--our only trip there this summer.

Gas about $15
Tolls $4.70
Air show at municipal airport, free
Lunch at airport $15
Beach, free
Pizza for dinner $10, at least it was bought with a coupon and we have leftovers for another dinner
Beer $5
Having our dinner in the back yard, free
Watching old movies after dinner, free
Not doing any laundry, cooking, cleaning, or shopping, free

For a total of $49.70. But like the ad says, feeling of complete relaxation, priceless.

Usually we go to a free beach, but this late in the season I could only track down 4 streets in Ocean City where there would still be lifeguards. I figured on biting the bullet and paying for their beach tags--but the Beach Tag Police were nowhere to be seen. The little building where you usually buy the tags was already boarded up for the season, and nobody walking up and down the beach checking for tags, either. A nice surprise.

I've got to start budgeting money for more outings like this...

That's what the bill at Midas was this morning. When I add up the emergency type expenses we've had over the past 12 months, it comes out to about the $200 a month I planned on. It's just that so many of these expenses have fallen in just the past few months, and we didn't have a cushion built up yet for emergencies.

Until recently, I've been mainly working on paying down debt. Back in February, our debt level was the worst it's been in years--$4185, not counting our mortgage. By the end of August, it was down to $3548, plus I'd gotten more money into savings toward various known bills and goals. Now it's up again, worse than ever:

Discover (no new purchases, just paying down at 0% interest) - $2939
Firestone - $660
Sony Card (just got, expecting a $100 credit as a bonus from them, also 0% interest) - $229
Citi (we pay that one off each month, used to earn cash back) - $699 as of today, will pay off early October

For a total of $4527. I could take some money out of savings goals accounts, but that would only pay it down partially and we'd have no cushion left. Not to mention lost hopes and dreams, like replacing our 13-year old car. I can't take money out of the accounts for things like the property taxes, because we need that money on hand to pay the upcoming bills.

I'm nervous about it, but maybe not for the reason you'd think. I know we can pay this off eventually, gradually. What I'm mostly afraid of right now is myself, and how I can tend to try too hard and end up making things worse for myself. Kind of like a gambler betting even more to make up for losses. Or someone exercising too hard because they've neglected it, and ending up with a heart attack, or at least sore.

I've already been burned on Ebay, trying to save a few dollars over Amazon's price on that software. I've already had rebates this year that I forgot to mail in, after spending extra money I wouldn't have if I weren't trying to do the rebates. I've already wasted time and money on "frugal" recipes that turned out so badly I had to throw the food away. I've had food go bad in the fridge and spent money on take-out because I got too involved in some other "money-saving" project. Then there's the way I overdid it on those discounted gift cards, leaving us strapped for actual cash.

And the more worried I am about money, the more compelled I feel to pursue these things, to make up for previous losses. So my main goal right now is to stay to my usual routines, and try to relax and not worry.

Right now if you asked me about doing rebates, I'd say never again. But after I've forgotten the pain I know I'll be ready to do it again--kind of like childbirth, from what I hear.

Sunday we weren't doing much, so I thought I'd go out and buy what I needed for several rebates due in this month. I've lost track of how many stops I made, trying to find all the items I was looking for. I haven't even entered what I spent yet, because the number of transactions and receipts feels overwhelming. It's one thing to do a rebate for a single item. What's really driving me bonkers are the ones where you need a certain number of products, or a certain dollar amount of stuff from one parent company. Here are some examples:

*Underwood deviled ham, 10 cans for 2 movie tickets. A lot of people must be doing this one, because everywhere I go, they are very low on deviled ham. So I couldn't buy them all in one place.
*Unilever, spend $15 for a $5 KMart gift card. The prices at KMart itself were way too high, so I planned to get everything at Target (it's supposed to work no matter where you buy the products.) I figured very carefully, but my total at Target came to just under $15. So I had to remember and buy a jar of Ragu somewhere else, and keep another receipt.
*Walgreens, $15 on P&G products to get a beauty product sampler and a $10 Walgreens gift card. It's unclear whether it can be any P&G products or just beauty and personal care. They say different things in different flyers. So I figured I get all Clairol products, to be safe. But my regular Walgreens was out of the root touch-up color I use, and were also down to one box of my Nice N Easy color so I couldn't use the $5 off coupon on 2.
*Walgreens, $10 on Pepsi and Frito Lay products, get a $5 gift card. You have to remember to write the UPC codes on the back of your receipts, which is a pain. Plus there's a local Pepsi strike going on, and all the Walgreens I've been to are completely out of Pepsi and Mountain Dew. (Although there's a plentiful supply at Target and the IGA.) Between this and the P&G rebate, I've been to 3 Walgreens and I still haven't been able to buy everything I need to finish up.

Now that I've bought some of the stuff, I feel like I have to complete the rebates or my previous effort and $ spent were a waste. And this isn't all--there are still a Delmonte one for $10 and a Coors one for up to $35 back on meat purchases I planned on doing.

It always looks like it will be worthwhile. And if I could get all the products for one rebate, at one store, on one trip, it would be easy. But in reality, it always turns out to be more complicated--especially compared applying for a Sony credit card in about 2 minutes, and eventually getting $100 from them. But I suppose if I'm not doing anything else, and I'm staying within my gas budget, I might as well be working on rebates as anything.