Vent Alert! Guess what the D stands for today?
I'm about as angry and frustrated and scared as I've been since I started writing this blog. DH told me the end of last week, and it sounds like he actually gave his notice at work a week before that--without even mentioning it to me beforehand.
I started out with a sense of calm, because I finally knew what was going on. See entry here: http://stressless.savingadvice.com/2007/07/27/fud_28650/
I know he hasn't been crazy about the job for some time, and it does sound like it may be getting harder. So I can understand it. I immediately got on the stick and started cancelling automatic transfers to savings, figuring out how much more I can get in take-home by adjusting my W-4, and looking up how much individual health insurance might cost. I've done a lot of thinking about how I can reduce the food budget more, and what else we can cut. My Weight Watchers membership, perhaps?
Then this morning, DH started picking at me about the state of the house, and how I should be spending my vacation week. A vacation week I scheduled out of desperation because I was already feeling exhausted and frazzled before he hit me with this news.
All of a sudden I'm not feeling like such a team player. He's still spending money on discretionary stuff, and hasn't applied for any other jobs yet. While I'm doing my financial fiddling, he's happily watching tv or sleeping. I've been trying to be cooperative, and then he has the gall to start browbeating me.
Right at this moment, I'm feeling like I shouldn't have to give anything else up. I've been working hard at getting our expenses down over the past few years. I'm not willing to go any further. I still need to lose weight. With him at home, it's going to be hard to find time to myself, and WW meetings would be a good escape. So that stays. I need clothes, and I already have money set aside. He's still spending money on books and cigarettes. AND I'M NOT THE ONE QUITTING A JOB! So today, I'm going clothes shopping as planned, dammit.
Oh, and to top it off I found out today the car insurance bill has gone up 26%.
DH quitting job, with nothing else lined up
September 5th, 2007 at 03:18 pm
September 5th, 2007 at 03:28 pm 1189002500
September 5th, 2007 at 04:17 pm 1189005453
September 5th, 2007 at 07:56 pm 1189018573
September 5th, 2007 at 08:59 pm 1189022363
September 5th, 2007 at 11:21 pm 1189030919
If he's already being careless with money you no longer have, I'd also think about removing all credit and debit cards from his wallet and making sure that he didn't get into the bank account either, so that all bills are paid with the money you bring in and he isn't out wasting it. Even if it meant temporarily setting up a new account that only you could access.
It's one thing to quit your job. It's another to do it without telling your wife and to continue to just spend money la, la, la, like nothing had changed.
September 6th, 2007 at 12:20 am 1189034419
September 6th, 2007 at 01:33 am 1189038781
Don't make it too easy for him. Don't sacrifice Too much of what you enjoy. Start sacrificing on things only he enjoys first.
September 6th, 2007 at 02:54 am 1189043685
That said, I quit my job with nothing lined up back in 2000 (my wife knew). We tightened the belt for a while. I sold on ebay full time and enjoyed my freedom. We also took an impromptu 10-day trip to Disney World and spent a week in Vegas (that was already planned for me to attend a convention).
Eventually, after about 3 months, a job found me (lord knows I didn't go looking) and I had to unretire and get back to work. Everything worked out for the best. I hope it all goes well for you, too.
September 6th, 2007 at 04:01 am 1189047667
September 6th, 2007 at 06:57 am 1189058246
September 6th, 2007 at 12:29 pm 1189078155
September 6th, 2007 at 01:01 pm 1189080114
However, I also completely understand what it's like to work on a very stressful job... so much so that it would cause me to feel the need to quit. So....
But if you're going to do that, then I don't understand why it's OK to not tighten up on the discretionary spending.
Well, here's to everything working out for the best!
September 9th, 2007 at 05:43 pm 1189356198
September 9th, 2007 at 05:45 pm 1189356314
September 14th, 2007 at 02:59 pm 1189778384
My best advice to her was DON'T give him $$$ in the hand,remove his access to all accounts.
I hope it all works out for you and doesn't get as drastic.
September 15th, 2007 at 04:13 am 1189826018
September 24th, 2007 at 05:44 pm 1190652294