One day we got a call that my MIL had a stroke, but not to worry because it appeared to be mild. A week later we were hundreds of miles from home, attending her viewing. I can't believe everything happened so fast. She was 90, so it shouldn't have been a surprise, but it was. She was still driving til the end, and had just cooked a big dinner the night before the stroke.
Since this is a financial blog, I'll try to write about things from that perspective.
First of all, when you're in a crisis situation like this, you can't always do things the cheapest way. We took Amtrak, which probably cost a bit more than driving would have been. But we didn't want to drive that far in wintry weather, on roads we weren't familiar with. We could have gotten a AAA discount if we could have made our reservations sooner, but we didn't know the date of the viewing and funeral til after the discount deadline. I also just found out we could have gotten a discount on one return fare with a coupon code, but I didn't have time to search for codes beforehand.
I'm glad that we still had a credit card, and I hadn't closed it out as per Dave Ramsey. It was nice to be able to charge the train fare, reserve the rooms, buy DH some clothes and pay for the local obituary FAST. I had enough to do without running around, getting extra money into the account that has the debit card and waiting for the deposit to clear. OTOH, I'm glad we had some money in the Emergency Fund so we can pay the bill off right away.
It's a good idea to always have suitable clothes on hand for a funeral (or wedding), and sufficient traveling gear. We hadn't traveled in years, and had gotten rid of some crummy old luggage without replacing it. I had to run out and buy a cheap set of suitcases at the last minute. (Nope, I didn't have the time to check where they were made!) Luckily, I'd bought DH some dress shoes on sale awhile back, even though he rarely needs them. He also still had a suit that fit. But he needed a new shirt, and a coat to wear over the suit. His old bomber jacket would have just looked embarrassing. It would have been a lot less stressful if we'd had all of this stuff on hand to begin with.
My oldest BIL is executor, and when we last saw him he was having trouble even finding my MIL's social security number. He hadn't really been involved with her paperwork over the years, and lives at a distance, so he's going to have quite a job finding and making sense of things. I'm more determined than ever to arrange things so DH can manage if something happens to me. He doesn't do computers at all, so this will mean converting back to paper in a lot of ways.
Finally, and most importantly, my MIL's eulogy reminded me to spend less time on finances and more time on enjoying life. The contrast with my own mother is marked. MIL didn't end up with a fortune, but she had a lot of travel and other fun under her belt. She enjoyed trying new things when she had the chance. My own mother has been very careful about money and everything else over the years. Rather than trying new things, she's apt to wonder "why would anyone want to do that?" She's a worrier from way back. So I've been thinking about how I'd rather hear my life summed up, at the end.
Death in the family
February 19th, 2008 at 02:02 pm
February 19th, 2008 at 03:36 pm 1203435393
I think you are right. We need to spend some of that money on enjoyment, and creating wonderful memories.
February 19th, 2008 at 03:37 pm 1203435458
As for converting everything to paper, I don't think you need to do that. I would just keep a folder that had everything in it. Accounts numbers, where they are, etc.
February 19th, 2008 at 03:49 pm 1203436160
As for living life, you are exactly right. Although I love Dave Ramsey, I too believe that a credit card is pretty usesless in today's world. Some people can't have credit cards because the minute they use it, they're back to where they started. Much like alcoholics or anyone with an addictions.
While it's extremely important to save money, it is also as important to live your life. Everyone should have some goals even if they are short ones. Paying bills 365 days a year can become gruesome. You are reading from someone who is debtfree and knows. We would take a small amount of money and do someting even if it was renting a video or going for a coffee. Living is important.
February 19th, 2008 at 03:50 pm 1203436237
February 19th, 2008 at 06:05 pm 1203444351
February 19th, 2008 at 06:18 pm 1203445081
February 19th, 2008 at 06:44 pm 1203446689
Just wanted you to know I am sorry for your loss.
When my brother died in January, I also had to scramble for clothes and luggage, and I was also very glad I had a credit card for all the expenses, and an emergency fund to pay it off. I don't agree with Dave Ramsay's advice not to use credit cards. It's just important not to ABUSE them.
February 19th, 2008 at 07:36 pm 1203449774
February 19th, 2008 at 09:17 pm 1203455875
so sorry about your loss - sounds like your MIL lived a full life, ninety years of independance is an awesome thing.
February 20th, 2008 at 02:27 am 1203474440
February 20th, 2008 at 05:28 am 1203485328
February 21st, 2008 at 11:17 pm 1203635856
Just think though that if you'd of driven you'd have probably stopped for multiple meals, etc, that might have been included in your train fare?
Good to have a CC available for just such emergencies!