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Sunday blues

July 24th, 2005 at 04:37 pm

I don't like being in limbo. I know how much I have to adjust our budget to make up for the withholding increase, and that's bad enough. But there's no point in overhauling the whole budget again until I find out two more things. In August every year, we find out what's changing with the health insurance we get through DH's job. Usually the deductions go up, often the co-pays go up, sometimes they even switch to a different insurance company for a year and then switch back. Also, at the end of August/early September we'll find out how much our new homeowner's and car insurance policies will cost. I already made some changes that have saved us money on the policies that are about to end. But I'm still waiting to hear what next year's bills are going to be.

It's hard to feel happy and successful about staying within this month's budget when I know it's still probably way higher than what it needs to be from here on. It feels like all my figuring and work and attempts at self-control were almost pointless.

It's frustrating just not knowing what we can afford. While I'm in this limbo period, I'm literally afraid to spend on anything extra at all, whether it's movie tickets or gas and tolls for a trip to the shore. I'd like to clean out our flowerbeds and plant something, but I'm reluctant to spend money on unnecessary things like plants or mulch. So I might as well leave the weeds as "groundcover." I can't face two more months of no fun or extras at all, and having our house and yard continue to look like c**p while the rest of the neighborhood is getting "gentrified". But how much on extras is too much right now? I haven't the vaguest idea.

It seems like the only things I can and should be doing today are things that I don't especially want to do. More errands that have to do with saving or managing money. Kitchen work, like cutting up raw veggies for the week and getting the rest of the meat off a cooked chicken. Coloring my hair at home with Free After Rebate dye.

There are a lot of things I'd like to do online, things that could even make or save us money. But I'm down to just a few hours for the rest of the month, and the library is closed, so I can't even do that today.

I'm determined to find a way to get over this pity-party. Without spending any money. Will report back tomorrow.

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